Let me go back and explain my purpose here…

I have been realizing that my blog seems really negative and may be kind of depressing. I do NOT want my posts to just be full of complaints about how terrible my childhood was. Right now, I have a pretty great life! I live in a nice house with 4 fantastic roommates, I work 2 jobs that I absolutely love, and best of all I have a wonderful, loving, caring, supportive boyfriend, and he is my best friend in the whole world.

Was it easy getting to this point in my life? ABSOLUTELY NOT. But I did it! I’m still working on it! Life is wayyyyyy better than it was.

There are 3 main points I want to make right now.

1. You don’t have to finish in the same place you started.

People start off in terrible situations, and people end up in terrible situations, and in both cases most people feel as if there is no chance for anything to ever get better.

But there is ALWAYS hope.

I started from the bottom, but I am also successful so far. Just because I was suffered in my childhood doesn’t mean I have to continue to suffer in my adulthood.

I’m in the time of my life where I am figuring out who I am and what I am going to be. I am NOT a victim, I’m NOT going to just blame things on my past, and I am NOT going to be abusive in the future.

You can make the same decisions if you choose to.

2. Life is hard and you shouldn’t go through it alone.

Let me be more blunt: DO NOT TRY TO MAKE IT THROUGH YOUR PROBLEMS BY YOURSELF.

You don’t need to!!!! It’s so much easier if you have help!!!

I’m learning how to take control of my own life, but I’m not going to lie, it’s a long, hard process. I know I’m not alone in going through it, and I don’t want anyone else to feel alone while they’re going through it either. There’s always help and guidance you can receive, and there are many ways to receive it. This is the order (number one being the most helpful) of people I receive help from:

1. My heavenly Father

2. My boyfriend

3. My Church leaders

4. My counselor

5. My friends’ parents

6. My friends

If you are looking for people to help you through your trials, you can get some ideas of who to turn to from my list, or maybe you have a different support system.

The most important thing is to let people help you.

3. Ask and you shall receive, knock and it shall be opened unto you.

DO NOT feel as if you have no one to turn to. There is ALWAYS at least one person who is willing to help you. But most of the time they won’t come up to you and offer it. Why not? They probably don’t know that you are in need. I can guarantee that if you let someone know you are struggling, and they will help you.

It is so scary trying to talk to someone. It’s really hard. And it hurts a lot at first. At least that’s how I felt. But it is totally worth it. I promise. And I don’t make promises that I can’t keep.

Background Info…

“Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.”

I was born and raised in Southern Nevada. After I graduated high school, I studied in Idaho for a year, moved back to Nevada to work for the summer, and now I live in Utah.

I’m the oldest of 6 children – I have 2 brothers and 3 sisters.

I love them a lot. I miss them often.

I worry about them constantly..

I keep stressing and worrying because I feel so helpless.. There’s not a lot I can do from over 300 miles away. I’m doing what I can.. I just hope it will work..

 

Why would I abandon them? Why would I leave them if they needed me? How could I do that to them if I really loved them?

 

Don’t make me feel worse than I already do. I was told to leave. My counselor said it would be the best thing I could do, and he assured me my little siblings would be taken care of while I was gone. Officer Smith would work with them once school started and hopefully something would start to change in their favor.

So I left. I moved to Utah with the blind hope that the future would soon be brighter than when I left. I’ve been stressing the entire time I’ve been away from those poor kids (which has been just over 3 weeks now).

 

I realize reading this it may sound like the 6 of us kids were living together on our own, and now I’ve left them without anyone to watch over them. This assumption would be false. The problem isn’t that the kids don’t have a guardian.

 

The problem is that they’re living with our parents.

 

My parents got married in 1990 and have loved each other ever since. They had 6 kids together. I’ve moved out of the house, my next oldest brother is a senior in high school, and my youngest brother is in first grade. My mother is a “domestic engineer” and my father is a Fire Engineer. My family has family night every Monday, chores every Saturday morning, and family dinner every single night. My dad teaches us how to fix our bikes, change a tire on a car, and fix every electronic device in the house as well as how to play sports (specifically baseball). My mom taught us how to cook, clean, sing, and play the piano.

We look like a picture perfect family.

 

This assumption would also be entirely false.

 

 

 

Quote: said by character Inigo Montoya in the movie “The Princess Bride.”